Nothing shapes your life more than the bond you share with your parents.

Parents can shape a child’s self-esteem, identity, values, and future relationships. However, not all parent-child relationships are healthy or positive. Some parents may be abusive, neglectful, controlling, or emotionally unavailable to their children. These behaviours can have lasting negative effects on a child’s well-being and development.

What makes a parent-child relationship healthy? It’s all about the CLAPS! The CLAPS are not only helpful for identifying healthy relationships but also for cultivating them. By practising CLAPS, parents and children can strengthen their bond and foster mutual understanding and appreciation.

In this blog post, we will explore the meaning of CLAPS in parent-child relationships.

CLAPS stand for Communicate, Listen, Apologise, Praise, Set Boundaries. Master these 5 essentials in the ways you act and talk – the core of a healthy relationship that shows respect, trust, and support between parents and children.

Let us see how they can benefit both parties.

*** Communicating clearly – Parents communicate clearly and honestly with their children.

• They do not lie, manipulate, or hide information from them.
• They express their feelings and needs respectfully.
• They do not use guilt, threats, or insults to get what they want from their child.
• Communicating clearly with your child shows that you are transparent and reliable in the relationship.
• It also helps you avoid misunderstandings and confusion with your child and establish clear expectations and rules for both parties.
• By communicating clearly, you can also model effective communication skills for your child that they can use in other relationships.

*** Listening actively – Parents listen to their child’s feelings, opinions, and concerns.

• They validate their child’s emotions and empathize with their struggles.
• They do not dismiss, criticize, or invalidate their child’s experiences or tell them how they should feel or think.
• Listening actively to your child shows that you value what they have to say and that you are there for them when they need you.
• It also helps you understand your child better and build trust and rapport with them.
• By listening actively, you can also help your child cope with difficult emotions, solve problems effectively, and develop critical thinking skills.

*** Apologizing sincerely – Parents apologize when they make mistakes or hurt their child’s feelings.

• They do not blame or justify their actions.
• They take responsibility for their behaviour and try to make amends.
• Apologizing sincerely to your child shows that you are humble and accountable in the relationship.
• It also helps you repair the damage caused by your mistake and restore trust with your child.
• By apologizing sincerely, you can also teach your child how to admit fault, learn from errors, and forgive others.

*** Praising genuinely – Parents praise their children for their efforts and achievements.

• They do not compare them to others or put them down.
• They celebrate their strengths and acknowledge their challenges.
• Praising genuinely to your child shows that you appreciate them for who they are not what they do.
• It also helps boost your child’s self-esteem, motivation, and resilience.
• By praising genuinely, you can also reinforce positive behaviours, and encourage a growth mindset.

*** Set and Respect boundaries – Parents respect and stand by their child’s set boundaries and autonomy.

• They do not invade their privacy, control their choices, or impose their expectations on them.
• They allow their child to make mistakes and learn from them.
• They do not micromanage or interfere with their child’s decisions unless they are harmful or unsafe.
• Respecting your child’s boundaries shows that you trust them and acknowledge their independence.
• It also helps your child develop self-confidence, responsibility, and self-control.
• By respecting boundaries, you can also avoid conflicts and power struggles with your child and foster a healthy sense of self-worth in them.

So, how do you know if you have a healthy relationship with your child? Start giving CLAPS! Show you care, respect, and support your child by being curious, listening well, setting limits, talking, saying sorry, and giving compliments. CLAPS can make your relationship stronger and happier. And the best part is, you can get better at them with practice. The harder your CLAPS, the stronger the love and trust you build with your child. 

Remember: the secret to healthy parent-child relationships is not what you do, but how you do it.