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How To Win Friends And Influence People

I had heard a lot about this book and I must say it kept up with my expectations. I can’t say about making new friends but I did learn a lot about how to deal with a growing child.

The important points and takeaways from this book for me were –
1. Not judging someone’s actions but trying to understand the perspective of the other person before making any assumptions.
2. Being a good listener, in fact, more of a listener and less of a talker.
3. Praise more, condemn less.

Many new self-help books quote Dale Carnegie’s writings and label them as old and outdated but after I read this book, I can reiterate an old saying “Old is Gold.”

My favourite lines from the book –

  • Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
  • By criticizing, we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment.
    “DON’T complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”
  • When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
  • “I will speak ill of no man,” he said, ”. . and speak all the good I know of everybody.” Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
  • Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.” As Dr. Johnson said: “God Himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I? PRINCIPLE 1—DON’T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN.
  • Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is “the desire to be important.”
  • “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. “There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
  • “If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
  • You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

It is available on Amazon Kindle Edition, Audiobook, Hardcover, Paperback and Mass Market Paperback.

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Book Reviews

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