A few years back I was dealing with my own anxiety issues, I never spoke about it because I never understood what was happening inside my mind. I was not suffering from any clinical depression or mental problems but I was just a young person in my 20s inundated with adulthood and the underlying responsibilities. It may sound silly to many but it was overwhelming for me then.
I would cry alone for any forsaken reason but it felt better. I preferred to stay quiet but Mr. Husband would demand utterance. I would get angry at my friends and yell at them but a kind few always stood by me. My work was going good but I hated it, not like those regular Monday blues but I just hated it.
I was surrounded by people, I was smiling, I was attending parties, I was having fun but something bugged me inside. It would pinch me, hard.
I was gorging on pizzas one day and starving to water the other day, but I was losing weight. Everyone around was complimenting that how great I look. I covered my mental agony with the commendations I was receiving. Until one day, when a colleague asked; “You look great with that lost weight. I hope you are not under some kind of stress that’s causing your slimming.” That one comment traversed my brain and I pondered, what’s truly causing it. Can I really talk about it? Is anyone actually interested to know?
But people; it’s not easy to open up. I was afraid of being judged, also there were instances where a closed one dismissed me with quotes like “all garbage in your head” or “too much of self obsession to only think about your own silly problems” etc etc.
Despite that, I was lucky to have a loving husband who likes my chattering and a few friends who never gave up on me. They were always inclusive but I was afraid they would not understand. All I had to do was trust my instinct and find the right arms to go hug in. Blessed are those who have such people around, but some of us might not have such easy access of ears. If that is the case there is no shame in taking professional help, sometimes its good to open up to a stranger with unbiased views.
It also taught me that sometimes we need to look beyond what we see. My colleague’s comment was just a random remark but there was a thought; something that others couldn’t see.
Today, when I sit and ponder about my then problems, I laugh at them cause I had people to talk me out of it. But my heart cries out for all those young chaps who had or have serious turmoil going within but cannot come out of it and cope up.
Every one of us is going through some kind of mental tensity, with varying tolerance levels. After all we are human beings with brains that is constantly working.
- Always Care
- Be Inclusive
- Continue Talking
And most important